rowan is gone for a school trip. it’s lonely tonight. the medicine is keeping the demons in my head hush-hush, so i really feel all alone for the first time in a long time. i don’t really remember if i said here that i’m on a new set of meds or not. they seem to work alright. for now, anyway. it never lasts. i almost decided not to take them, so i’d have voices to keep me company, but i promised rowan i’d take care of myself.

take care of myself. ha. what does that really even mean? i don’t think i even know how to do that.

i have to go by myself to see maureen the psychiatrist tomorrow. usually rowan would go with me, but since he’s gone, he obviously can’t. i hate her. she’s nicer to me if rowan is around, because everyone seems to think he’s a “good influence” on me. i’m not saying that’s a lie, but no one seems to realize that he’s pretty messed up, too.

i don’t even know what the point of this post was. i think i’m just lonely. maybe i’ll go call my mother. if anyone feels like talking to me tonight, well…that’d be great.

  1. ainsleyholloway posted this